Last week we looked at signs that your elderly loved one may need extra help. This week we’ll continue the conversation and look at what resources are available and how to respond to your loved ones when they reject your help.
Appearance
- Are you financially able to hire a home care agency to help your loved one with daily activities such as bathing, meals, or medication monitoring. Visit the Senior Resource Directory to see Home Care programs in your area. There are also government programs that can help with personal care.
- If your loved one is losing weight because grocery shopping is overwhelming, see if you can order groceries online or have them delivered.
- Talk with your loved one’s doctor if they have new bruises, cuts, scratches, etc.
Aging in Place
- Are you worried about your loved one eating? Sign them up for a senior lunch café or see whether they qualify to have meals delivered to them.
- Walk through your loved one’s home using a safety checklist such as this one from AARP.
- Look for home modifications that can make day-to-day life easier for your loved one (e.g., grab bars, shower seats, etc.).
- We’ve covered local home modification programs on the blog.
Behavior
- Schedule regular phone calls or visits so your loved one is not as isolated.
- See whether there’s a senior center in your community.
- Talk with your loved one about potentially seeing a therapist.
Medication
- See if you can schedule your loved one’s medical appointments for times when you can accompany them.
- If medication is confusing, see if your pharmacy can put medication in a blister pack.
- Many pharmacies will do a medication review with clients.
- Is your loved one having difficulty affording their medication? We’ve covered ways to save money on medication on the blog.
- Does your loved one have old medication laying around? Read this blog post on safe ways to dispose of medications.
Memory
- Talk to your loved one’s doctor if you have concerns.
- If your loved one is at the early stages of Alzheimer’s, they would likely benefit from a memory care day program such as Silver Club.
- Look at local Memory Cafes (See flyer below for local cafés).
- If possible, arrange a tour of local Alzheimer’s/Dementia residences.
Driving
- If your loved one is no longer a safe driver, it may be time for them to give up their license. This is difficult for many people. If you think your loved one would listen to an authority figure, talk with their doctor to see if they’d initiate the conversation.
- Learn about the transportation programs in your loved one’s community. You can do this by visiting the Online Senior Resource Directory.
Finances
- Talk with your loved one about getting online access to their accounts.
- See if their bank will send your loved one’s statements directly to you.
- You may want to look into getting power of attorney to make financial decisions on your loved one’s behalf.
My loved one rejected my help! What can I do?
- Talk to siblings/relatives so you’re all on the same page.
- Start the conversation about future plans as early as possible instead of waiting until a crisis (E.g., a fall, they’re a victim of a scam, etc.).
- Look for a natural opening in a conversation.
- Listen to and validate your loved one’s concerns.
- Focus on the benefits of whatever you’re suggesting (e.g., seeing a therapist/moving to assisted living, etc.)
- If assisted living/memory care/independent living is up for consideration, see if you can tour the facility with your loved one.
- Acknowledge that it may take several attempts for your loved one to see that there’s an issue.
- Remember that you can’t force someone to do something if they do not want to.
