The holidays are a special time to reconnect with family, but they can also reveal changes we might not notice during phone calls or quick visits. Maybe you see unopened mail piling up, a cluttered kitchen, or your parents seem more forgetful or withdrawn. These small signs can sometimes point to bigger challenges with health, safety, or daily living. It’s no coincidence that senior living providers report a 25% increase in calls after Thanksgiving, with calls peaking in January (an increase of 40-50%). Today’s blog post will focus on what to look for when visiting an aging parent from changes in the home and physical appearance to mood, medication management, and possible signs of neglect or abuse. You’ll also find links to helpful resources and next steps if you’re worried about someone you love. Together we can make all the difference in helping older adults stay safe, supported, and independent. 

 

Home Environment  

• When you walk into their home, is it messier or more cluttered than usual? 
• Is their home safe, or are there repairs that need attention?  
• Are there odd smells when you enter their home?  
• Are chores like laundry and dirty dishes piling up?  
• Are there piles of unpaid bills?  
• Do you notice any late payment notices or expired registration on their car? 
• Is there enough food in the fridge and pantry? Is there any expired food? 
• Do their burners, hot pads/oven mitts, or pots and pans have scorch marks?  
• Does their car have new or unexplained dents or scratches?  

 

Physical Changes & Personal Care  

• Have your parents gained or lost a significant amount of weight since you last saw them? 
• How’s their hygiene? For example, if they usually take pride in their appearance, are they wearing torn, stained, or otherwise messy clothing? Is their hair unkempt? Are there knots or mats in their hair?  
• Are they struggling to move about their home, especially up or down their stairs?  
• Do they have difficulty or pain when standing up? 
• Are they more sedentary than usual? Do they tend to sit in the same spot for large periods of time?  
• Is their gait balanced or unbalanced when walking? 
• Have they had a recent fall? 
• Are they missing important medical appointments?  
• Have your parents’ neighbors, friends, or congregation mentioned any concerns?  

 

Mental Health 

• Does your parent seem to have less energy than usual? 
• Are they behaving differently towards neighbors, family members, and/or friends? 
• Do they seem to be more confused or forgetful?  
• Are they isolated, or are they involved in their community? 
• Do they have a loss of interest in activities and hobbies they used to enjoy? 

 

Medication Management 

• Does your parent have medication that they are unsure why they are taking? 
• Do they appear to be out of any medications and not refilling them? 
• Do they have more medications left at the end of the month? This could mean they’re skipping doses.  

 

Potential Abuse 

• Does your parent have bruises or injuries that are taking longer to heal? 
• Are they acting more withdrawn, especially around specific people? 
• Has your parent mentioned suicidal thoughts or expressed that they wish they could go to sleep and not wake up? 
• Are your parents spending large amounts of money, or have their spending habits changed significantly?  
• Are there examples of self-neglect (e.g., not paying bills, not getting care for medical needs, not bathing, not taking medication as prescribed, etc.)?  
• If your parent(s) has a caregiver, do your parent(s) seem under or over medicated?  
• Does your parent have bedsores?  
• Does your parent have a new best friend who seems to spend a lot of time with them or is willing to provide care for free/low cost? Do they ask favors of your parent(s)?  

 

Next Steps 

• If you suspect abuse, call Adult Protective Services at 855-444-3911 
  • Call 911 if you believe a parent is in immediate danger! 
  • Need extra support? Visit the SRC Guide to Calling APS 
• Share any concerns with siblings or other family members.  
• While you’re visiting, introduce yourself to your parents’ neighbors. If you feel comfortable, share your information so they can contact you in case of an emergency.  
• Have a conversation with your parents about whether they have any concerns. Is there anyone who is treating them poorly or making them feel uncomfortable? Is anyone taking their things without permission?  

 

Helpful Resources 

• Aging in Place 
  • Area Agency on Aging for Seattle and King County has an excellent tool called the Cause for Concern Checklist. It covers 10 domains and asks the person using the checklist to mark whether or not they notice the behavior in their parent(s). 
  • What does it mean to age in place? Via Senior Resource Connect 

• Finding Resources 
  • The SRC Online Senior Resource Directory lists resources throughout Washtenaw County related to housing, mental health, and more. 
  • CCWC Resource Advocacy Program provides information and referrals that best meet the needs of seniors and caregivers to maintain independence at home. Call (734) 971-9781, Ext. 7 to get connected.  

• Medication Management 
  • Better My Meds is a non-prescribing pharmacy that helps with medication management and answering questions about medications.  
  • How can you make sure you take your medicine as directed? Via Senior Resource Connect 
  • Medication Safety 101 via Senior Resource Connect 
  • How to (safely) dispose of medications via Senior Resource Connect 
  • What are blister packs and are they worth it? via Senior Resource Connect 
  • Safe Medication Disposal via Washtenaw County Water Resources Department 

• Senior Housing
  • Housing Bureau for Seniors is a nonprofit agency that offers Housing Counseling to help seniors age in place or find the best housing option. Call (734) 998-9339 for more information.  
  • Senior Living Locators- these agencies help older adults and their loved ones navigate the different assisted living, independent living, and memory care options in your area. These services are offered free of charge.  
    • Assisted Living Locators (734) 274-9903 
    • CarePatrol of Washtenaw, Jackson, & Lenawee Counties (248) 207-8846 
    • Oasis Senior Advisors (248) 938-2462  

• Social 
  • Dementia Friendly Services (formerly Dementia Friendly Saline) offers a variety of dementia friendly social activities throughout Washtenaw County, including memory cafes, a choir, and regular movie screenings. They also offer caregiver support programs.  
  • Silver Club Memory Programs via Turner Senior Wellness Center offers a variety of social programs for individuals at different stages of memory loss. Call (734) 998-9352 for more information.
  • Washtenaw County is home to 12 senior centers. Senior centers are a great social outlet and can be found in most cities (for a complete list, visit the SRC Online Senior Resource Directory).

• Transportation  
  • AAATA Gold Ride is available for residents aged 65+. After completing an application form, older adults can travel on fixed-route buses free of charge. 
  • Feonix Mobility Rising operates a call center that finds the cheapest rides available for trips. Call (833) 653-6544 to reach their call center.  
  • Exploring Transportation Options in Washtenaw County for Seniors via Senior Resource Connect 

 

Happy holiday season!